Rules of the universe...?

Okay, let's pretend for a minute that God does exist. Now, let's pretend that half of the bible is complete bullshit, and all the big 'no-nos' are just God's way of testing humanity for how fully they would follow him...God is fucking smart, eh? Not only that but, those people who rally against gays would both pass and fail. Pass for holding God and his book dear in their hearts, and fail for not following the verses that say to love others as you love yourself. Thinking you're better than someone else because of what a book says is not exactly smart.

Now, using logic in this lovely blog I'm going to say that every religion in the world has this same stuff. Half is good things that people should do, half are things that make no sense/are bullshit/are stupid. This is because each religion has been around for EVER, and each 'book' or whatever has been around for just as long. Personally, those are hints to me that God up in the sky is not at all what we imagine him/her to be. I think these book things are just old books on how humans live and how some act this way, others act that way. I mean, it's true isn't it? Some of us love others as we love ourselves, some hate others and feel better than others. Perhaps God in each of these books are just made-up people, who the humans who wrote them wished they were. I'm not exactly an expert on all this, but don't you think that if God existed, there wouldn't be half as much shit in the world as there is....

You can say, humans created this problems, the devil helped, blahblahblah. But no, because in the bible God can kick the Devils ass, so why wouldn't he now? If I was a God, I wouldn't let the world get THIS fucked up.

This makes me ask other questions. It is my belief that SOME type of God exists, but is not the sole controller of everything, and we as humans also turn the world certain ways. Also, the God up there isn't a particular being, perhaps, but more of a whole like air or something, just floating everywhere. We can pray to it, and through that get closer to our fate by trying to help make it happen, along with Karma, God, Fate, Chance, etc. Now here's the thing, if God like the normal christians believe in does exist and I am wrong, okay. Fine. But, if so, why does he have so many no-nos, when he is supposed to be all-loving. Why, would he send his creations to hell for being simply how he created them? Isn't it said in the bible that he loves all of his creations, children, etc. Does God listen to prayers/hopes only by those people he deems worthy/acceptable? Why? If he listens to everyone, why do a lot of people say their prayers aren't answered? Why, if he listens to everyone and loves everyone, are people still wandering around with nothing?

I pray sometimes, regardless of my belief, thinking well maybe it could happen and come true and maybe he exists. But, nothing has really miraculously happened. Ever. And even when I did believe, nothing happened. Ever. Perhaps it is because God does not listen to those who do not fully 100% believe. Maybe, he isn't listening because I'm Bisexual. Maybe, he doesn't listen because I plan to marry a girl. Perhaps because he simply is too busy with more important things. Perhaps because the person I pray for most often, is the girl who I am in love with...Most likely, because God does not exist at all.

In this case, we all are essentially the creators of our own worlds, and choose our paths in life. We cannot control others, this is true, but we can control ourselves. How we act, how we react, how we treat others, how we treat ourselves.
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If I was the ruler of the universe, there'd be some pretty good rules.

RULES OF THE UNIVERSE (If I were God):
1. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Or I may send lightning your way.
2. Though you may not like another person, or full out hate them, that doesn't mean they won't get a place in heaven. Unless they are people who have no capability to love and do horrible things.
3. Twilight is banned.
4. If you can't work it out yourselves, don't expect me to fix the worlds problems.
5. Cookies for all who are kind.
6. Gays are effin awesome, if you don't think so, you probably won't get into heaven. Sorry.
7. If I made you, I will love you. That doesn't mean if you are a complete idiot and hateful, I will not love you less. I will favor some children...Sorry.
8. You are human, make mistakes.
9. Just apologize for REALLY bad ones.
10. Don't dwell on sadness or the past. Come on, people, the future is more important.
11. Shooting stars are worth 1000 points.
12. Money means nothing.
Maybe others, but right now I'm too lazy. . . . .

If you were ruler of the universe, what rules would you make?

TWLOHAD♥

♥Love is the movement♥

Thank you to everyone who participated, and this is my contribution. Had it keep it small for work but it means more to me than many people can know. Remember that someone out there loves you, it gets better, there is always hope, and rescue is possible. ♥

To Write Love On Her Arms

I got bored today and decided to look up love images on google. I found some really pretty ones. Then I thought of TWLOHA-To Write Love On Her Arms, a non-profit organization for self-harm awareness, mostly for teen girls. I decided to look up 'TWLOHA images' on google.

I could never have prepared myself to see that many images of people's arms with love written on it for TWLOHA Day... Add that to the amount of websites the logo was on, people drawing the logo, photography done for the organization, and people who just showed their support...

I immediately burst into tears of joy.

It touched my heart in ways I cannot even say... It gives me so much hope that out there are people who care, about everyone, no matter their problems. Big, small, whatever...People care. I am joining in, to show my support. Friday, November the 12th-13th it is TWLOHA day. I'm writing it big, bold, and beautiful.

After-all, I've been there too. I have the marks to show it. I am proud to say those days are over for me.

Rescue is possible, I've found happiness. So can anyone else who just chooses to look for it. So can YOU. Please, show support and particpate in To Write Love On Her Arms Day.

Love is the movement.

~Me~
<3

20 random facts about me.

1. I am a leo.
2. I am a brunette.
3. I am only 17, when most people my age are 18. My birthday is in the summer.
4. I love music.
5. I love tea, as well as coffee.
6. I am Canadian, and sometimes too much. I say 'eh?' a lot, and my sister thinks I need to stop.
7. I like almost any kind of music there is...Almost.
8. Froot loops are one of my addictions.
9. So are fuzzy peaches.
10. I use internet smilies far too much...
11. I love tigger.
12. I sometimes feel like I am not good enough, and need someone to reassure me.
13. I used to not eat breakfast or lunch very often, so now when I eat breakfast too soon after waking up I feel sick.
14. Exams and I have a mutual hate relationship. I don't test well.
15. I like Tinkerbell.
16. And Beauty & the Beast.
17. And most disney movies.
18. I cannot take naps unless I am fall on the floor and die tired, or unless I am cuddling with someone and close my eyes...
19. I get nightmares when emotionally distressed.
20. I do not believe in god, but I do not believe there is no god. Rant blog later for that.... :P

Storytime children!

Hello people who actually still read my blog. I figure thats about 0! YAY ME! I am gonna keep on blogging anymore. This is more for me than anyone else really.

Today we're going to talk about the POWER behind WORDS. Ever find yourself in a perfect mood, until someone says one little thing? Ever wonder why your entire self-esteem could be shattered by a mere few people in your past? Well I figure it is because words are some of the most powerful things in the entire universe. I mean, we have them for a reason do we not? Words exist for us to use them. And in some cases, words are there for us to make other people feel like shit. Some words I am at a loss for any ability to understand why they exist. I mean, if you have more than three words to say one evil thing about someone, that is sad. No one should have to be put through that. And yet, I find myself saying horrible things about people daily. I am such a hypocrite.

Continuing on, through most of my life I have been the kid that people picked on. I have been called so many names I am not sure I could even count. And it's weird because I could have been so happy, but one person would come up to me and say something and POOF, I hated life that day. No matter what good things happened, that ONE thing would make me so sad. And even if the rest of my day was amazing, I still felt like crap.

I have been called things that as a kid, I thought that when I got older I could change. I tried. I really did. I got more friends like me, I worked to fit in with them, I tried everything. But still, people persisted.And tehn it got to junior high where everyone learns everything about ruining other's lives. And again, I was a target. You think I'd have learned by then not to talk to people who made me feel like crap. But hey, I was young and naive. I got to grade 9 with a broken heart, trust issues, a newly changed definition of friendship, happiness, and even love. By the time I was in grade 10, I had become the ultimate professional at hiding my feelings.

Words can completely destroy anyone if you work hard enough at it.

You know that saying, 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but words could never hurt me'? IT LIES. It is wrong. Words may not break bones, but words break hearts. Now that I am a bit more grown up, I have realized there will always be someone saying SOMETHING about you. You just gotta learn to let it go. And if not, you are going to be in for a lifetime of hurt.

I have found a new way to get past it all. I say, hey, if someone's life is so PATHETIC that they have to make fun of you, they obviously aren't worth your time or energy to hate. I don't hate people. I think it is SO much energy to go into negativity it's not even funny. Energy should be put into positive things. Like cupcakes. :) Mm, cupcakes. I must add that to the list. And on that note, storytime is over!

Just Me.

Happy things.

Here is an effort to counter act my previous emo blogs. :P

LIST OF THINGS I LIKE IN THE WORLD!

1. My GF. :)
2. Sunshine.
3. Fuzzy peaches.
4. Reading.
5. Taking pictures of things that I think are pretty.
6. Making my GF blush and giggle like an idiot. She's a cutie.
7. Music.
8. Purple.
9. Roses
10. Other pretty flowers.
11. My best friends.
12. My GF's eyes.
13. Her smile.
14. Her hugs.
15. Her crazyness.
16. Her ability to make me smile.
17. Actually, just her. So we're back to number one.
18. Frogs.
19. Puppies. :)
20. Platypus'
21. Llamas.
22. Ducks.
23. THE BEATLES FTW!
24. PARAMORE.
25. The Oatmeal.
26. Hyperbole and a Half.
27. Grape Fanta.
28. Junk food .
29. Lucky charms.
30. The color yellow (which actually, I used to hate)
31. The ocean
32. Being near water and relaxing
33. Swimming
34. Running. I so need to get back into the habit of that.
35. Kites.
36. MLIA.
37. FAILBOOK.
38. Facebook.
39. Making fun of Twilight.
40. Harry Potter. I'm a nerd.
41. the fact that 3.14 backwards spells pie and that pi is a math term but pie is delicious.
42. The answer to life, the universe, and everything.
43. Unicorns.
44. Llamas with hats.
45. Charlie the unicorn.
46. Cake.
47. Cheesecake.
48. Ice cream cake.
49. Lists.
50. I'll add more later.
51. ONE MORE: Sarah Dessen and HON books. :)
52. Poptarts.
53. Writing.
54. Chalk drawing.
55. Toaster strudels.
56. Summer
57. Spring.
58. Fall.
59. The fact that I am not afraid of love anymore.
60. The fact that I trust someone utterly and completely with everything I have.
61. SKITTLES.
62. Twix
63. TRIX. I wish we could still buy it here.
64. Getting good marks.
65. Being proud of myself.
66. The fact that I can say I am beautiful now, without feeling like I am a horrible person for saying so.
67. Oreos.
68. Chocolate milk. (Never white milk lol)
69. You know, I never actually ever knew what this meant. Haha, I suck.
70.Acting like a kid.
71. Swinging on swingsets.
72. The fact that no matter what my mood is, one talk with her and I feel like nothing could ever go wrong. :) <3

Sex. {Not kidding, not at all}

I thought it might be time for another 'deep' ranty blog. And since everyone I know seems to be thinking about this nowadays, I might as well explain my stand on it. Sooo, get a snack and a beverage, tell your friends to leave you alone.. I am going to talk about sex. :P

OKAY. So. It pisses me off that a lot of young young girls are having sex at like twelve fucking years old. I mean, my sister is only 13, if I found out she was having sex, I would go OFF. Sex nowadays seems to mean so little for everyone, like sex is just something to do when you're bored. It's like you're sitting at home one night really bored so instead of doing something productive you call up some guy you know (or girl) and say "Hey I'm bored, wanna have sex?" And that is perfectly natural. I find that retarded. Especially since there are so many gross things going around involved with sex, like, hm, STDS. And pregnancy. And then there's the decision if you're too young whether or not to keep the baby. IN my opinion, if you're not going to keep the baby, just put it up for adoption. I don't believe in abortion, only for certain circumstances. Like, rape victims and twelve year olds who are poor and whose family will send them into the streets. If you're too young to make a decision about keeping a baby, you're too young to have sex. For me, 16 is the age where sex becomes talkable with partners. Sometimes even later...

Anyway. Sex for me (and maybe I've just been too shy and reserved or been brought up too strictly but I digress...) is like the BIGGEST thing in a relationship.. Besides like, marriage or whatever. For me sex is what happens when you know you are in love, when you trust your partner completely, when you know you will be together forever (or reallllllly long time, whatever) and when you can openly have conversations about those things without feeling awkward or anything. AND even then, that's only if you FEEL ready. And even then, it is kind of scary. I mean, sex is the easy part. It's the physical thing. Even if it's your first time, sex is truly, just sex. The hard part about it is giving yourself so completely to someone else, giving your heart to them, showing how much you love them, giving them the biggest opening to hurt you. That is the scary part.

I mean, you hear it everywhere, sex is appealing, it sells, blah blah blah. It has to be the easy part if everyone is able to talk about it so openly, show it all through the media, and make jokes about it. If people can laugh so much at sex, it is obviously no big deal.

But to give yourself to someone else, that is a dfferent story. Let's put it like this: you are asked to bottle up your entire soul and your feelings for the person and just hand it over. Simple. Easy-peasy. Right?

Wrong. And even if they are willing to give you them, you're still losing a part of you...

Maybe I am too much of a good girl to really get it, or been brought up strictly so now all I think about is how "bad" sex is but I don't know... I just don't see it the same as everyone else. Or maybe more people see it the same way but just don't show it, or just follow the crowd. Either way, this is starting to REALLLY get on my nerves. Not to mention "music" nowadays is FULL of sex and money and drugs and other shit. It's unnerving.

OKAY. I think I am done with my long rant about sex. . . .

Until next time (not ranting about sex next time, just next blog time..)

Just Me.